Day 1 - Very First Video Game

Super Mario Bros./Duck Hunt - NES, 1985


I remember this day ever so clearly, despite me being such a young babby. It definitely isn't my earliest memory, but was a sunny summer afternoon in 1990. My aunt and uncle were the gaming nerds up in the house and they decided "HEY LET'S GO GRAB AN NES ON SALE FROM THE WIZ" and we were like "'k" (does anyone even remember what that store was anymore?! jesus i'm old). I can tell you they were more excited about it than me and my cousin were. They brought it home, unpacked it, set it up, and once the "choose your game" screen came, it was my choice. I promptly wanted to try SMB first because I loved the SUPA MARIO BRUDDUHS SUPA SHOW (spoilers: when the movie came out I was just as excited akljdlksj)

All I remember was ragequitting in World 2-2 because those muthafuckin' Bloopers I just got over those Goombas hnrhghhhgh. I was done. SCREW THIS GAME. TIME FOR THE ZAPPER. Innovative super-futuristic guns you can AIM AT THE TV? SIGN ME UP--fuck what is this

Duck Hunt immediately made me ragecry because that dog was such a dickhole and MAN did I hate that pink sky with the "FLY AWAY" AUUUGH MY SELF-ESTEEM so what if i can't shoot ducks proper how dare you laugh at me you cunt - way to make me feel inadequate about life alkrjejhglr

We later discovered there was a much more palatable clay shooter which was less animal abusive and less ego-ruining. I liked that one better (even though I still wasn't any good at it -3-) And it made me feel good, man.

You betchyer booty I returned to Super Mario Bros., though. As you'll see later, it became a staple in my life.

AND IT BEGINS WITH RAGE